In-between the corridor

That was on May 22, 2013, I was walking up and down the corridor of the local hospital – past mid-night. On the medical ICU there were staff trying to save a life and the monitoring equipment’s were indicating the trap that lie ahead. A slowdown of the pulse; falling blood pressure and slowing heart beats. As I walked up I could hear the first cry of a new born child from the other side of the corridor – the maternity ward. It was only incidental that I heard that voice of the new born, but as I walked down the corridor, my mind reflected the life that is about to pass away into oblivion. The two doors co-exist even in the hospital architectural design – one to come through and the other to go past!

Time has a way of quickly traversing and catching you almost unawares of the years that pass by. It seems just yesterday that I was young, playing with my younger sister at times enacting a drama at the school, plucking thumba flowers for the Onam festival, or enjoying playing with crackers and lighting diyas during festive times. I wonder at times where all the years went. I have glimpses of how it was back then as we played together and grew up.

She underwent a lot of struggles including three brain operations, survived with a stent from the brain cell to discretely pass on the fluids, an operation on her back bone and one or two more on her body to correct and stabilize her deceases that crept attacking her body. But her mind was always strong, I never saw her dropping a tear in spite of the pains she underwent, never complained on any of her pains, and kept a smile for me. Our family friend mailed me –“Your sister’s husband was one of the ‘never seen before’ kind of a person who looked after her all through her struggle”. I endorse her view totally as he was unconditional in his love to my sister forever. My sister succumbed and breathed her last that night, on the rear part of the corridor – her fight coming to an end.

It caught me by surprise… How did times go so fast? Where did the years go and where did our youth go? I remember my father and mother gracefully growing and becoming old and thought that those older people were years away from us and the time was far off for my sister to pass away. I could not imagine and be in tune with the new meaning of life.

Only recently the old alumni of my engineering college met at Kannur. My friends are retired and are all grey and most of them move slower. Our age is beginning to show and I am now one of those older ones that I used to foresee and never thought would be so soon.

Most of us have the aches and pains and loss of strength and ability to go and do things, and we do not know how long it will last. As my sister passed away I wonder, like her in her exit a new adventure will begin!

My old friend and I discussed of those friends who were so close to us and those who are no more. Let us understand there is no queue in this lane, priorities are fixed UP-stairs! And let us appreciate that it will be here faster than you think – the final eventuality of life and the only truth about it.

To avoid regret do not put things off! Do what you can today, as you can never be sure whether this is your final passing baton that you are carrying in the race called life. You have no surety that you may see the next winter. So, live for today and say all the things that you want to your loved ones to remember…and hope that they appreciate and love you for all the things you have done for them in all these years!

Stephen Cowe in his book tells us to conduct our own funeral. I was reminded on this test suggested by Stephen when I watched the body of my sister getting inflamed in the electric crematorium.

What ignites in the mind is what you have not done and achieved so far – in spite of the innumerable opportunities God gave us to perform and achieve. At times intuitive and reflective thoughts had provoked us to get what you want and to be there where TRUE NORTH indicated to you. But we stopped and did not cease those opportunities.

My mother always said “it’s a fast running train – keep double the speed that you normally can perform and jump into it and move on. Where you have to alight is not indicated in the trip sheet or the train ticket – it just happens” – and so why worry about the destination or the perfection to perform – move on and keep the intent clear.

 “Life” is a gift to us. The way you live is your gift to those who follows you. Make it a different one. Live and enjoy today, be happy and make sure that those around you will enjoy small doses of happiness seen in their smiles.

 Remember: Today is the oldest you have ever been, yet the youngest you will ever be and so have your day, the way you want it to be!

Switch off the remote sensing controls of your mind – get across the imaginary lines of tension and pressures and swing with the times of today.

It’s not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you lived. Just a couple of days before a young person at 53 passed away and a friend was telling that he had a life that spanned 85 years by living within 53 years and he had no regret passing away.

Someone said as we move on the path to the final destination our “IN-BOX“ will still be full with things to do, ideally we need to reduce those files of action in our IN-BOX so that we enjoy the rest of our lives wherever it be!

I pray that my sister gets her due place after having completed her KARMIC DEBTS, in the place where we tend to belong in spiritual thoughts and understandings.

I wish I be the kind of husband of my sister – with unconditional love and care. I wish to emulate some of my sister’s traits of accepting pain with grace and accommodating destiny with grace as I pass through the rest of space in the corridor between birth and death.

 

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37 thoughts on “In-between the corridor

  1. Really I do not have words to express how I felt on hearing the news of her Death. No way other than accepting these natural “MUSTS” ,
    Let’s share your grief, Amar.
    Nambiars

  2. Thoughtful and thought-provoking piece. Can’t begin to fathom the depths of wisdom life has taught you. Thank you for sharing it, uncle. Our heartfelt condolences on your loss. Mummy tells me she was a lovely person. We pray that she rests on peace.

  3. A person always remembered, saw her for the first time on my wedding in 2007, I remember her advise as a new bride when brought into the family. Then I saw her for the last time on my last vist to India in 2011, She was looking contented and happy though she looked frail and tired. My thoughts and prayers are with the family. RIP Mami.

  4. A very touching and emotional article and yet an eyeopener about how we should live of whatever is left in this lifespan !

  5. Plz accept my deep condolence Sir. such an inspirational quote.She was living indeed stronly no doubt. I’ll pray to my great Allah for her..may she rest in peace. But before leaving this world she has left plenty thoughts how to be strong and what really life called.

  6. It is indeed a great loss. please accept our heartfelt condolences. I remember the day i met your sister and the great man – your brother-in-law. I prey almighty to be kind to bestow his blessings on this great man
    Gopi and Thankam from Toronto

  7. Pratapnair (Toronto) Said – dear amar
    touching, it is a great loss, I admire your brother-in- law, a great person who went through struggles throughout seeing the suffering of his wife – an example of a true love – see my post on your blog – regards

  8. Latha Shekar -” Very sorry to hear that. Life is full of surprises and as you rightly say, one must live it without regrets of not having done what one wanted to do. ”
    Latha Sekhar

  9. Dear Amar,
    Really touching Heart felt condolence.May almighty give sufficient strength to you and family members to bear the irrepairable loss and the departed soul may rest in peace

  10. Vijayan (HYDERABAD) – “Dear Amar. I am sorry to hear about the untimely demise of your sister. my hearty condolences. As you rightly said there is no queue system in the matters of death. Rgds”

  11. SreeMohan (Delhi) -“Dear Mr Amar nathji – Our heart-felt condolences to you and all members of the bereaved family. Your ‘brief’, capturing the agony of a loving brother will be an everlasting ‘memorial’ to your dear departed sister
    For me it came as a poignant reminder of the shape of things in store, as i have just returned from Kochi after visiting my ailing sister and brother, both younger to me….. How lucky you are that you can ‘take your heart out’, articulate and share your grief with friends, making it less intense if not a shade ‘beautiful’, in the process – Love”

  12. Dr. Ravi Bhaskaran – Ph.D. – “Dear Amarnath, I am so sorry to hear about the demise of your sister. Well, your blog explains it all. She has played her role well in the world giving peace and happiness to all around and departed to possibly a better world. We hope and pray that God gives the strength to all the near and dear to bear the loss.Regards”

  13. Anu and Divya – London – “Dear Uncle, Our heartfelt condolences to you and your family. We pray for you to be strong through these depressing times. I’m sure your sister will be satisfied thinking she’s left behind such a lovely family. Very touching blog by the way. It has definitely given me some food for thought. Take care,”

  14. “sorry to hear about it….but it’s an inevitable fact of life…may her soul rest in peace…and our minds be filed with all the sweet memories we shared with her” – Priya

  15. Ravinder Singh (Chandigar) – Says -“Dear Amarnath, I read it on the face book itself. Your expressions completely draw the reader into the contents. Once again my heartfelt condolences. Kind regards, Ravinder”

  16. Dear sir,Sad to hear about the demise of your sister,heartiest condolences,we pray that she rests in peace.your touching article is thought provoking and drifts us back to the past many decades
    .Regards

  17. Amarnath, Sad to hear the loss of your dear sister. Never heard about her earlier. May her soul rest in peace.

  18. Very touching…..may her soul rest in peace………what u hav written is v true…..live n enjoy today we dony know what is in store for us tomorrow.

  19. Dear Mr. Amarnath,

    Very touching and inspirational article. Please accept mine and Ajita’s heartfelt condolences.

    Kind regards,

    V. Padmanabhan

  20. “Dear Amarnath, Our heartfelt condolences . May God give you and your family enough strength to bear this loss. An excellent article on LIFE and how we should live it 24*7.” – Damodaran-Pune

  21. Irene Hunt -“Dear Amarnath, I am so sorry to hear about the demise of ur sister-As u said she never complained about her destiny but was worried about her husband .-When ever I meet her she used to say she feel sorry for her husband who has to nurse her constantly -“How long I am making him Suffer like this” She used to mourn–She was blessed with a n understanding caring husband & two good obedient sons- When that specific time comes in our life,we all will have to leave this world-Her time has come – we now have only memories to cling to -those fond memories of childhood, the love & care she showered on u & what her life has taught U -Myself my son & fly join with U In sharing Ur sorrow.May her soul rest In peace. Warm regards, “

  22. Very touching….life is so fast…so we shud make use of each and every minute..for the goodness of society…making ppl around happy……at the end each and every person is equal before the almighty whether he or she has wealth or power…very nicely written
    -Bijith

  23. Here is Amarnath – the writer of this BLOG – thank each one of you who expressed grief and understanding on what’s called LIFE – Personally I felt, when sadness is SHARED it really reduces pain. thank you all. . .

  24. Dear Nathettan , our heartfelt condolences…and we agree Jayettan was a great dedicated husband who really lived for Shobechi…..The whole article was touching and a facts of life…..
    Manoo & Geeta

  25. Dear Amar, Our heartfelt condolences. Inevitable, on which we humans have absolutely no control!May her soul rest in peace !

  26. dear uncle
    My heartfelt condolences on this irreplaceable loss.Its true we do not realise we are growing older each passing day.We are shaken when we see our pillars of strength crumbling slowly health wise.May her soul rest in peace ….
    priya jayaram.

  27. Hi Usha & Amar,
    Our deep felt condolences to all in your family. The notes written by you moved us to great heights.
    Regards
    Radhika & KD

  28. Dear Amar,
    Our heartfelt condolences at the sudden demise of your sister Shobha. Nowadays I’m not regular in going through my emails as I’m in Bangalore with Karthik. We all pray for the departed soul and may God give you enough courage to bear this unbearable loss. The piece written by you is reflective and inspirational.
    Regards
    Bhanu & Malathy

  29. Mohammed Kunhi (MY CLOSE FRIEND FOR YEARS -“My dear Amarnath
    It was with immense pain and sadness that I read the mail regarding the death of your sister. For a while I was along with you experiencing the process of her journey to death-So powerful was your graphic description. I read your article again and again and pondered about the reality of life and death. Perhaps, the only certain thing in this world is death and the most uncertain is its timing.
    Every religion tell us that death is not the end and pain and suffering is only temporary and every act of goodness will be rewarded manifold in the eternal life after. May God bless her and reward her for all her courage and accepting pain with grace. With love – K.M.Kunhi “

  30. Krish from London – “Dear Sir, I was late in picking up emails owing to travel.
    My heartfelt condolences on this personal loss. I pray to God to give you strength to cope with this. May her soul rest in peace. Regards – Krish”

  31. Beyond the medical journals of human anatomy and related prognosis of illness, perhaps there is an unwritten leaf hanging loosely as yet to be filled up with the respective medical prescriptions for the remedial treatments of a human-body… Thus it suggested by an enduring life of this lady who outlived miraculously nullifying the textbook prognosis of medical science. And she stoically took the pangs of the unending physical afflictions placating with a facade of fading smile. For a number of bemused medicos she happened to be perhaps a medical phenomenon. She had thrown down the gauntlet several times in the face of the impending death shielded with her sheer strength of willpower immensely energised with her everlasting passion to live her life fully accomplished.
    What else a human being possibly would want to achieve?

    Her beloved brother Amarnath has penned vividly her strikingly courageous life…

    My dear friend, Amarnath, this touching memoir really moved me.

    Though belated, we (Usha & I) convey our condolences to all the bereaved family members!

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