That was on May 22, 2013, I was walking up and down the corridor of the local hospital – past mid-night. On the medical ICU there were staff trying to save a life and the monitoring equipment’s were indicating the trap that lie ahead. A slowdown of the pulse; falling blood pressure and slowing heart beats. As I walked up I could hear the first cry of a new born child from the other side of the corridor – the maternity ward. It was only incidental that I heard that voice of the new born, but as I walked down the corridor, my mind reflected the life that is about to pass away into oblivion. The two doors co-exist even in the hospital architectural design – one to come through and the other to go past!
Time has a way of quickly traversing and catching you almost unawares of the years that pass by. It seems just yesterday that I was young, playing with my younger sister at times enacting a drama at the school, plucking thumba flowers for the Onam festival, or enjoying playing with crackers and lighting diyas during festive times. I wonder at times where all the years went. I have glimpses of how it was back then as we played together and grew up.
She underwent a lot of struggles including three brain operations, survived with a stent from the brain cell to discretely pass on the fluids, an operation on her back bone and one or two more on her body to correct and stabilize her deceases that crept attacking her body. But her mind was always strong, I never saw her dropping a tear in spite of the pains she underwent, never complained on any of her pains, and kept a smile for me. Our family friend mailed me –“Your sister’s husband was one of the ‘never seen before’ kind of a person who looked after her all through her struggle”. I endorse her view totally as he was unconditional in his love to my sister forever. My sister succumbed and breathed her last that night, on the rear part of the corridor – her fight coming to an end.
It caught me by surprise… How did times go so fast? Where did the years go and where did our youth go? I remember my father and mother gracefully growing and becoming old and thought that those older people were years away from us and the time was far off for my sister to pass away. I could not imagine and be in tune with the new meaning of life.
Only recently the old alumni of my engineering college met at Kannur. My friends are retired and are all grey and most of them move slower. Our age is beginning to show and I am now one of those older ones that I used to foresee and never thought would be so soon.
Most of us have the aches and pains and loss of strength and ability to go and do things, and we do not know how long it will last. As my sister passed away I wonder, like her in her exit a new adventure will begin!
My old friend and I discussed of those friends who were so close to us and those who are no more. Let us understand there is no queue in this lane, priorities are fixed UP-stairs! And let us appreciate that it will be here faster than you think – the final eventuality of life and the only truth about it.
To avoid regret do not put things off! Do what you can today, as you can never be sure whether this is your final passing baton that you are carrying in the race called life. You have no surety that you may see the next winter. So, live for today and say all the things that you want to your loved ones to remember…and hope that they appreciate and love you for all the things you have done for them in all these years!
Stephen Cowe in his book tells us to conduct our own funeral. I was reminded on this test suggested by Stephen when I watched the body of my sister getting inflamed in the electric crematorium.
What ignites in the mind is what you have not done and achieved so far – in spite of the innumerable opportunities God gave us to perform and achieve. At times intuitive and reflective thoughts had provoked us to get what you want and to be there where TRUE NORTH indicated to you. But we stopped and did not cease those opportunities.
My mother always said “it’s a fast running train – keep double the speed that you normally can perform and jump into it and move on. Where you have to alight is not indicated in the trip sheet or the train ticket – it just happens” – and so why worry about the destination or the perfection to perform – move on and keep the intent clear.
“Life” is a gift to us. The way you live is your gift to those who follows you. Make it a different one. Live and enjoy today, be happy and make sure that those around you will enjoy small doses of happiness seen in their smiles.
Remember: Today is the oldest you have ever been, yet the youngest you will ever be and so have your day, the way you want it to be!
Switch off the remote sensing controls of your mind – get across the imaginary lines of tension and pressures and swing with the times of today.
It’s not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you lived. Just a couple of days before a young person at 53 passed away and a friend was telling that he had a life that spanned 85 years by living within 53 years and he had no regret passing away.
Someone said as we move on the path to the final destination our “IN-BOX“ will still be full with things to do, ideally we need to reduce those files of action in our IN-BOX so that we enjoy the rest of our lives wherever it be!
I pray that my sister gets her due place after having completed her KARMIC DEBTS, in the place where we tend to belong in spiritual thoughts and understandings.
I wish I be the kind of husband of my sister – with unconditional love and care. I wish to emulate some of my sister’s traits of accepting pain with grace and accommodating destiny with grace as I pass through the rest of space in the corridor between birth and death.