Be focused; to be happier

On a question for a study “when are you most happy?” – proved that most people were happy when they were engaged in sex. Surprise came from the rest of the people who were either in office or at work or on travel. They mentioned that their minds were wandering and could not be focused. It all meant to the ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) where the mind wanders and is not focused. This lead to unhappiness, tiredness, errors, wasted time, misunderstanding through miscommunication and reduced productivity. I for one get the best thinking time – when I am in the rest room. Relaxed. Less if interruptions there! Focus impose order where our nature tends to point us to disorder. Edward Hallowell suggests to try and spend more time at junctions when we are at cross-roads with cross-purposes. One such intersection is within the three spheres – 1) where we are good at 2) what we like to do 3) what ads value to the society. We hear about meditation and advantages thereof for focus. We need to train our brains by taming frenzy – an emotional state, a feeling of “out of control”. We need to monitor emotions that pass by our minds. It’s said while emotions are nice; being emotional is vice. One step is to use the ABC Technique. Being Aware of emotions; Breath deeply and Chose your thoughts. I apply a technique when my grandson is bent upon an issue and say “No” by deviating from the subject. It helps to re-focus. We often hear about will power and this helps to be in focus. If we are able to influence the situation go and do it and if not discard. We need to narrow down the band width of thoughts to get focus. All our thoughts and emotions are a creation of 11/2 kg of a loaf of flesh called our brain. Serious research is on those 100,000 miles of nerve centres that connects to our mind. The result of these studies will help us focus more. I recall hearing late management Guru, Sumantra Ghoshal (brother of my colleague Jayanta Ghoshal). He declares people who are successful utilise their time more effectively unlike those who are not on an “Active Non-Action” mode. Those successful rely on two traits – focus and energy. According to him focus is “concentrated attention an ability to zero in on a goal and see the task through completion.” In order to focus we need to zoom IN and zoom OUT on short and long term goals. Steve Jobs when he rejoined Apple asked people to stop all jobs except the chosen four. “Deciding what NOT to do is as important as what to do”. The story of frogs is a live example to understand focus. Frogs were given a task to climb a slippery mask. Many tried slipped and fell back. Some climbed looked down and fell. The winner was only one. When asked, the winning frog said he was deaf! (In a story there are no questions!). As we move on there will be many negative thoughts that retard us. Do not pay attention. We need to say “No” and move on. Saying no is not being disobedient but bringing in focus.