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We all make choices. At times our choices are with a thought in the background and logical. Sometimes it’s spontaneous and impromptu. I do not know the calculus and algebra of how our mind works.
The other day we made a choice to watch the film “Bajirao Mastani” – partly spontaneous and a bit of afterthought. The film is about Bajirao I, who served as prime minister to the fourth Maratha Emperor Shahu from AD 1720 until his death. Bajirao who was married fell in love with Mastani, daughter of Bundela Rajput, borne by his Persian-Muslim wife Ruhaani Bai who was a court dancer of the Nizam of Hyderabad. Love transcends.
Not long ago we watched another movie “Nee Ende Moideen” (In Malayalam) a real love story just about 60 years ago that happened in Mukkam, Kerala. The real life lover of Moideen is still alive. Love life and love transpires.
Haven’t we heard the term – Love at first sight? It’s the magic of the mind. There are two kinds of decisions we take. One is called a conscious strategy where we take a path of logical thought. The second is called intuitive repulsion. We wonder how we tend to utilize the giant computer in our mind and still fail at times compared to a quick blink decision from gut feelings becomes apt. We live in a world that assumes time taken for analysis and conclusions bear a better result of a decision taken than a snap one. But in our own experience find many choices including love at first sight of Bhajirao, Mastani and Moideen, Kanjana were from feelings, the blink ones!
Look at the righteousness of the issues of conflicts where we seek interventions. The sloping tower of PISA was a fault of design that helped the tower become one of the seven wonders. And the designed slope of the four minarets of the Taj Mahal for a risk cover that included an earthquake is a design factor. These sloping structures are not perfect but people admire, in spite of imperfections. We tend to tilt to imperfections.
One needs to appreciate that as social beings we live in a variety of spaces. There is personal space that is part of ourselves that we are un-willing to share with all. We have a space in our relationships like family; friendship; work; community etc. We set boundaries in our lives. We define boundaries not to constrict, but to enhance their longevity. Mostly these boundaries exist as a conscious or unconscious mind sets. There is no right or wrong boundaries – it depend more on the comfort levels. We want to see the sloping tower of PISA, a tower of imperfection. Nancy Levin stated -“We need to honor the space between no longer and not yet”
Our minds fluctuate. We think of what we want to be and get into a trap of what we feel like. This is the stress we encounter. Secret for handling this is to dwell upon our likes and to learn to be indifferent to our dislikes. Some of us get into the task of spiraling constantly on the unpleasant and disagreeable aspects in our relationships to end up in an agitated exhaustion.
Our brain has ability to change and adapt as a result of experience and is called brain plasticity or neuroplasticity. Earlier it was believed that changes in the brain could only take place during infancy and childhood. But modern research has demonstrated that the brain continues to create new neural pathways and alter existing ones in order to adapt to new experiences, learn new information and create new memories.
Things that we learn from life’s experiences are gratitude, forgiveness and letting go to love and be loved. As we mature, our brains with new re-designated relationships of love and hate allow us to view things less from logical conclusions to more of feeling oriented choices that arise out of quick thoughts. Because feelings also mature over a period of time of give and take, right and wrong, letting go and holding back. Tolerance levels enhance to suppress stress levels in our minds. We tend to accept Bhajirao and Moideen for what they felt like doing from the snap decisions of love that blossomed, in circumstances that probably did not appreciate from a detailed logical analysis and point of socio-cultural views.
Modern researchers have found evidence that brain is able to rewire itself. If our brains can change and adapt, why not our attitudes to reorganize old pathways, create new connections and ideas that change our perspectives?
We all have a variety of problems. Most of it relates to relationship issues. RIGHT questions only provide RIGHT choices. For all problems there is only one solution. For all problems the only solution is right THINKING, whether it is logical or snappy ones.
Make the right choice – be happy.
Texas Annual Exhibition is where my daughter Divya had a second look at the little wonder – butterflies. She gifted us with a frame of butterflies. I wondered about this lovely creature God gifted to nature.
Lifespan of a butterfly depends on many things from two weeks to 30 days! Butterflies have inhabited our planet for 130 million years. Before a butterfly can flap its wings, it starts out as something completely different and transforms itself through four stages. Caterpillar after hatching from an egg has its first meal – the egg shell itself. Caterpillars molt several times and outgrow their exoskeleton. They lay hundreds of eggs but only a few survive. When a butterfly emerges from a chrysalis its wings are crumpled. It hangs with its wings down and pumps the wings with fluids to straighten them out – wait several hours for wings to harden and dry before flying away. How beautiful are they?
They see ultraviolet colors, invisible to our eyes and can see flowers. They cannot hear, but feel vibration and have a sense of smell. They communicate with each other by color, chemicals and sound. Color patterns signal along with a chemical pheromone to attract opposite sex. Clicking sounds attract ants that in turn protect them. They use support systems and methods for survival. The 12,000 different species of butterflies play a silent part in pollinating the earth’s plant population as part of food chain.
Divya bought our gift from a Peruvian Store. Peru hosts 20% of world population of butterflies. These are farm raised with an idea of conservation and helps local people to earn a living. Butterflies are allowed to live their natural life cycle and allowed to die. These are dissected, preserved for years to please our eyes as well to learn in retrospect.
- Survival is an instinct that we need to practice on a continuous basis.
- With a short life span butterflies does pollination. Will Smith quote – “Life isn’t how many breaths you take, but it’s the moments that take your breath away” – Do what is IMPOSSIBLE.
- Growth is NOT easy. Work for it.
- Help each other – Like butterflies and ants.
- Use the resources God gifted us – to be different.
- Learn till you live – no shelf life for knowledge. As human beings we need to appreciate our sensory capabilities and intellect. We can be butterflies.